Today my baby boy turns one! Tears are filling up as I write this, I still can't believe how fast this year has gone by.
This precious boy was a great surprise, but he's been the best surprised I've ever received. He fits perfectly into our little family...I can't remember life before him.
He is such a light of happiness. He wakes up with a smile that reaches from ear to ear and he goes to bed with same smile. He hardly cries, so when he does, it just makes you so sad. He loves to cuddle. He will cuddle with me any time of day, he doesn't care. If he needs a little cuddle time he will stop whatever he's doing and climb into my lap for a little cuddle. He loves his big brother and sister so fiercely; even when his sister is in one of her moods.
Today will be celebrating this little blessing with cupcakes and donuts. Please join me in wishing our little Sawyer-Grey a very happy, fun 1st birthday!
this week my little princess had her first ballet class. I honestly cannot tell you who was more excited--me or her. the moment she slipped on the ballet shoes, she became a little ballerina. she was on pins and needles the day of class. she knew he class was sometime after lunch, so anytime I walked by the door she would frantically ask me if it was time to go to ballet class. when it was finally time to get ready she could hardly contain herself, she was jumping with excitement. I helped her put on her tights and leotard. she sat still as I twisted her hair up in the smallest bun I've ever seen. she carefully packed her ballet and tap shoes in the new bag I had sewn just for this occasion and then we were off.
my mom had taken the boys which was nice because this was a special time--some girl bonding time. as we walked across the parking lot to the community center she asked, "Mommy, are you going to stay in the class and watch me so I don't cry?" be still my heart. I assured her there is no other place I would rather be.
we were a few minutes late to class. the other little girls were already sitting around the teacher as she explained the class rules. quickly, I helped my little princess slip on her ballet shoes and ushered her towards the rest of the little girls. she timidly took a seat at one end of the circle.
I stood along the wall and watched her. I wanted nothing more that to sit next to her and hold her hand. she glanced back at me a few times and it took everything in me not to just run and wrap my arms around her in a quick hug. while my heart wanted nothing more than to set her at ease, I did not run to her, but rather plastered myself to the wall and prayed. I prayed she wouldn't run away scared. I prayed that God would fill her with a spirit of peace and joy. I prayed that I would be able to stay strong and not try to save her and ruin this whole experience for her.
this ballet class was not only a rite of passage for her, but also for me. she may only be three years old, and this may only be the first of many ballet classes to come, but this was one step towards letting her go. She my second born, my only girls, she has a piece of heart the boys will never have. she is my kindred spirit. and while I want to hold on to her and shelter her from any difficulty or unkind thing I know I can't I have to let her go little by little--I need to teacher to stand on her own two feet.
as I stood there, wrestling with the urge to rescue my little princess from the insecurities of life, I caught a glimpse of what God must go through with us. The more I dive into the trenches of parenthood, the more I catch glimpses of God and His enduring love for us. I must admit I struggle with wanting to intervene and make things easier for my kids. but I know that will not help them grow. they need to learn to do things on their own. I am here to help and guide them, not hoover and keep them from falling and ever experiencing life.
by the end of class she had shed the timid cloak she wore and was tapping away with gusto, not in time, but with spunk nonetheless. once the teacher dismissed them she came running to me, proud as could be, the biggest smile encapsulating her face, anxious to show me the tinker bell sticker her teacher had given her. the first ballet class had been a success. she learned first position and I had learned to let go just a little bit.
I took ballet from the age of three to eleven. and as a product of the 80's I could not help but share this song with you. when I was little my mom used to call me her little ballerina girl. when this song would come on the radio she would dedicate this song to me--her little ballerina girl. and now I will dedicate it to my little ballerina girl.
I'm always reading around 3 or 4 books at a time on my nook. they usually span a variety of genres, from nonfiction to fiction to biographical. right now I'm reading about 10 books, yes, I know I said 10 and that sounds a little crazy, but what can I say I love books.
Books on my nook right now:
I like this book. I know it's gotten a few bad reviews, but I've enjoyed thus far. I'm about half way through. I enjoy how honest and candid she is. she writes like you're talking to friend over coffee. she's really got me thinking on how I can be more intentional with my every day life. an enjoyable, easy afternoon read.
I'm one of those people who will read the book after watching the movie and that is the case with this book. I loved the movie so much I had to read the book. at first I was a little disappointed that the book was not exactly like the movie, but now i'm over it. i'm almost done and i'm completely hooked. I am normally not one to read any kind of futuristic or sci-fyish books, but after watching the movie I just had to read it. it's an easy read with a main character, Jonas, who can't help but root for. I can't wait to finish so I can start on book #2.
i've only read the first chapter of this book and i already love it. she writes with simplicity, like she talking to friend, probably because this book was written for teens,--something i found out after i started reading it. one of my favorite things about this book is that at the end of the chapter there are questions for reflection and verses to dig deeper--great ways to really digest what she is telling you.
holley gerth is one of my favorite christian authors. she writes with such loving care and tenderness...she's that sweet that friend that just wants to come along side you and give you hug. i have not been shy when sharing with you that i've been going through some intense trials. when i'm having a really difficult day i just read a chapter of this book and i feel refreshed. it's like a cold cup of lemonade on a hot day.