Wednesday, March 7, 2012

{feeling stuck in a rut}

I love this cute little face.

I spend most of my days chasing her around the house. She is crawling little menace.

But for the last few days, she has not been her crazy herself. She has transformed into a whiny, clingy baby who wants to be held all the time. At first I thought she was teething, because I would see the faint glimmer of her top 4 teeth. However, today, it became quite clear that she is sick...again!

I hate seeing my kids sick...especially when they're babies and there is nothing you can do.

It's been a rough couple of days--full of lots of snot, whining (by the both of us) and very little sleep (neither of us is getting much).

I had a lot of big plans for this week, for the whole month actually. On Monday, I was supposed to start meal planning, working out, adding more stock to my shop, going to bed a decent time, and the list just goes on and on. I was thinking about all the things I was falling behind on and starting to complain about it to the husband. I was complaining that I wasn't getting anything done during the day, because I had to carry the little princess all day, and that Einstein was being a little testy and difficult. And to top it off, I have had a horrible headache for the last few days and today it got a whole lot worse. And then if things couldn't get any worse, we were hit with another money issue. 

The husband could see that I was about to loose it. He grabbed my arms and looked me square in the eyes and said "It's going to be ok. God's gonna work it all out." I stood there in a stunned silence. In my head, I am screaming, how could you say that! don't you see how everyting is falling apart? I wanted to grab him by the arms, shake him and ask him if he could see what was going on here.

But then it hit me. My worrying is not going to make the money issue go away. It's not going to make my baby not sick. It's only going to make my headache worse. And then I remembered this verse:

casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you-1 Peter 5:7

And I remembered I don't have to do this alone.  I give all this anxiety and worry over to God and He will take care of it. Now I am not saying that I am perfectly fine and skippy, but for the moment I am calm and not worried. And when I feel that anxiety creep up,  I just say this verse to myself and for the time being the worries melt away.

And so now, I am going to enjoy these yoga pants and baby pajama wearing days. And relish in these moments with my baby girl, because she is only going to be a baby for just a little bit longer.

How are you doing? Have you been stuck in a rut?


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