Thursday, March 1, 2012

{my boy: a mama bear's story}

see this boy. this is my boy, my first born.

Sometimes he drive my crazy...and I mean real crazy. to the point where i start yelling and i want to pull my hair out. but in the end he is mine and I will always love him no matter how crazy he drives me.

third grade has not been particularly easy for this boy of mine. in many ways he has had to learn things the hard and grow a thicker skin. and this week has been especially difficult for him. he has had some issues with kids at school and it has been very hard on this heart. today, his little heart was grieved and he started to cry as i was talking to him about it. hearing him so distraught burden my heart and made me so mad at those that were causing him such undue pain and grief.

it is so hard to see your kids hurting, especially when there is nothing you can do about it. i wish i had some magically power to stop all his hurt and pain. 

it is times like these, that i remember, after i've calmed down, in essence he is not really mine, he is God's. and i am just borrowing him for the time being. and it times like these when there only thing i can do is pray for him and give him over to God. and it is so hard to do sometimes, because all i want to do is be that mama bear and protect my cub. but sometimes the only way that can be done is giving him over to God and trusting that He is protecting him each and every minute of every day.

and it times like these, when i sit and think how hard it must be for God to see us, His children, hurting and in pain. and how much it grieves His heart when we are distraught and sad. and i think of how He is just waiting for us to call to Him for help and when we do, He will be there to carry all our hurt and pain and to fill us with comfort and love.

and so i am comforted knowing that my boy is in the best hands. and his sadness and grief will last, but a moment. tomorrow is another day.

and soon that frown of his will be turned upside down and he will be like this once again.


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