Monday, September 10, 2012

{coffee date::things on my mind}

if we were having coffee today i would probably meet you at starbucks because my house is a wreck. i would have salted carmel mocha frap--my new obsession. and excuse me if i ramble, but i've got a lot on my mind.
if we were having coffee today i would tell you....
...i had so much planned for this week and everything was derailed on wednesday as i sat in the dentist chair and looked at tray above. I have a very traumatic history with dentists and dental work. i will spare the gruesome details, all you really need to know is that i am now terrified of dentists. a couple years ago when my dental nightmare was at it's peak i found the perfect dentist--yes, the perfect dentist. and believe me was perfect. of all the numerous, and yes, i mean numerous dentists i've seen, he is the only one who has been able to successfully numb me with no problems. he gets in there and gets the job done, pain-free. i love him; however he does not take my insurance and unfortunately i do not have limit funds and so this time around i was forced to try a new dentist. because of my history, the minute i feel a little discomfort i can the dentist. and so i went into this appointment thinking it wasn't going to be a big deal--i should be in and out in about an hour--however that was the not the case. instead my one hour  appointment ended up lasting three. and what i thought would be a simple cavity turned out to be a root canal. and everything that could go wrong did. the doctor had great difficulty numbing me. the minute she would start working on my tooth, i would start to feel the drilling. i don't know if you've ever felt a dentist drill into your tooth, but it is excruciating. every time i would lift my hand to let the dentist know i was in pain, she would get upset. by the end of the appointment i wanted nothing more than to be with kids and the dentist wanted nothing more than to get out of there. suffice it to say, it was not a very good experience.
...i would like say that week turned around after that, but that was not the case. the next morning, as i was driving einstein to school, someone purposely hit my car and drove off. it was nothing too serious, just a huge scratch on the front my car, but the fact taht  my kids were in the car made me upset. thankfully we were all fine. little princess has been teething all week. these molars of hers are making us both miserable. friday, as i was about to get ready for work, she decided she wanted to cuddle. so cuddle we did.
...i started school last week and thankfully, it was a pretty easy week for being the first week. i wish i could say the same for this week. to be honest, i'm a little scared about school. i'm so close to graduating and thought that i might not is just scary.
...God has been speaking to me alot lately and i mean alot! everyday He reveals something new to me and I have to admit it has been a little bit overwhelming. there is so much i want to do, so much i want to accomplish every week, but something comes and just messes it all up. one thing in particular, that God has been working on me is discipline. discipline in my everyday life, as well as with my kids. I was reading my devotional the other day when this verse just popped out at me:
"whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls." ~proverbs 25:28
when i read that all i could say is "WOW". it convicted me to the core. life is crazy. life is chaotic. but that is no reason not to be constantly focused on Him. I *think* i've mentioned before that i can sometimes be a bit of a control freak and instead of giving it all over to God. I try to find ways to fix things my way, just in case God doesn't get it right. i know that sounds funny, but it's true. but until i wrote that down i didn't realize how foolish i truly was. sure when things are going good it is easy to trust, but what about those hard times when everything seems to be going wrong and you feel if just one more thing going wrong you're really gonna lose it? what about those times. when life is going "smoothly" it is easy to spend that quality time with God, but what about those hard times? those times when you want to cry, do you cry out to God first or do you just cry and feel sorry for yourself. as much as I hate to admit it, most times i just cry. and when I'm wallowing in my self pity it is easy to see how everything else starts to fall apart. when you cry out to God first, and your focus is on Him, He is all you can see. you may see the other things falling apart around you, but they just don't seem so horrible because you're in His arms.  crazy how a little perspective change things.
how was your week?
I have a little request this week, if you think about it, can you preay for my little princess and me and our teeth situations? thanks, dear friends. how can i pray for you this week?



  1. Praying for you, mama. I'm so sorry your week was so awful but I hope it turns around, friend. <3

  2. sorry to hear about your week :( but thank you for sharing that scripture - i needed to be reminded of that in the midst of craziness.


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