a few weeks ago my little princess was sick...she had a stomach a virus. my happy-go-lucky girl turned into a very miserable-not-so-fun girl. she cried and cried. she would not move, not even an inch. all she wanted was for me to hold her and hold her i did, but sometimes even that was not enough to console. the virus was causing her to become dehydrated. by the end of the day she refused to eat or drink and when she cried a tearless cry. by evening time i knew she was not getting better only worse. so at 9:30pm the husband i packer her up and headed off to urgent care (einstein was spending the night with my mom).
the doctor at urgent care decided that my little princess was in need of i.v. fluids due to her dehydration. i knew my little princess needed an i.v.--that was the reason we took her in first place--but to actually here the doctor say it, well it hit me in a way i cannot really explain.
as a mother, there is something in you--like a extra heart--that grows when you become a mother. and this "mother's heart" is a heart not like an any other. it "hurts" when your child gets hurt. it aches when your child is suffering. but when your child is suffering or in pain and there is nothing you can do about it, your mother's heart go is to overload and feel like it is going burst. it is a helpless sort of feeling--not being able to help your child. it is almost a bit eery in a way. your first role as mother is protect your child from harm and when that cannot be done it is gut wrenching.
at that moment, as the nurses were sliding the needle into her little hand i realized that this little girl of mine is not actually mine. she belongs to God. i only have her on loan. all this frettin' and worring, it's not going to make her better--no, only God is.
i am reminded of abraham and isaac. abraham realized that isaac was not his to "own", but rather, he belonged to God. and so when God asked abraham to "sacrifice" isaac, abraham complied because he knew isaac was not his to keep, he was God's.
children are God's gift to us, on loan from Him. and when you stop and think about it is quite wonderful to know that there is this big, awesome, wonderful God who has our little one's in His hand. who better to protect and watch over them than Him?
a little while after the i.v. was started, my little princess began to perk up.
and by the time the i.v. was almost done, she back to her normal self, tears and all.