Friday, September 1, 2017

{confession time...I'm back!}

It's been a little over two years since I disappeared  abandoned my little blog. I loved my little spot in the blogosphere...and I still do. But then life kicked me in the gut, slapped me in the face and stomped on my hands. And try as I might, I could not write. Believe me I tried. I would sit with my laptop on my lap and my hands hovering over the keys, but that's it...that's all I would do. I could not will my hands to type. All I could was sit and stare at the blank screen before me.

Last year, I shared a piece of my story and I thought that my sharing my story it would open the door for me to write again. But there was more baggage and junk I had to sort through before my mind was free and clear to begin writing again. 

The other night, with my back against the wall I knew it was time. I had to write. I had to open my heart and share what has been plaguing me these past couple of years. I began chipping away at the walls I had built and I started to feel like myself again. I was reminded why I write. I write to share my story. And so I am sharing another bit of my story with you, my loyal readers.

This week I sent out a letter, a letter, that in all honestly should have been sent months ago, but my heart could not write it till this week. Please read the letter below.

I have sat and stared at this screen for the last 2 hours. My fingers poised on the keys and l yet my hands are frozen in place. I have tried to write this numerous times but it’s one of those things never seems to come out right. How do you talk about cancer and ask for donations without sounding too gimmicky. I figured the best way to do so would be to share our story. And to write as if I was speaking to you face to face. So here it goes.

Our story is one among millions. My mom may be the one infected with cancer, but the thing about cancer is that it does not just infect one person--It infects the entire family. Two years ago, I was sitting in the car with my best friend. My taste buds were about to experience the culinary magic that takes place when you combine chicken and waffles in one swift bite when I got the call. The pain that had been plaguing my mom for the past 8 months was a tumor. And not just one tumor, but 6 scattered throughout her lungs and several more hiding out in her neck, and along her spine. Her cancer was back in full force, but this time it was stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. In layman terms, she is terminal and she has to undergo chemotherapy treatments in order to stay alive.

That night, when I got home, I threw open my laptop and hopped on Facebook. I immediately joined/liked every page and group about breast cancer that I could find. I then combed through the City of Hope page to find any opportunities I could find to help. I had to do something. If I could not cure my mom of cancer I was going to find a way to help prevent it and maybe one day cure it. In my search to do something I stumbled upon the Avon 39 walk to end breast cancer. It’s two days, 39.3 miles and women just like me walking for women just like my mom. This is something I could do. I could walk. I could help raise money. I could help change lives.

A few weeks ago, we found out the cancer had traveled to my mom’s brain. The few good years we thought we had left were cut down to a year, maybe months. Our daily life just went into hyper drive.  The time I thought I had to be able deal with all this is gone. The time I needed to prepare my kids for losing the only grandma they have---gone. There is no more planning for things, it’s all about the now and living in the moment.

Cancer has taught us to live in the moment; to take nothing for granted and to make sure to always say “I love you.” Cancer has also taught me to be thankful for modern medicine; to fight like crazy for what’s important, and to take lots and lots of pictures. Most importantly, cancer has taught me not to take time for granted. Time is of the essence and the time is now.

Will you please support me, my mom, my kids, our family and help stomp out breast cancer. Click here to donate.

As of now, I am only third of the way towards my goal. If I do not reach my goal they will not let me walk. I need to walk. Not just for my mom, but for me. I need to do my part to stand up to cancer. It cannot rule over my life anymore...will you please help me.

my sweet momma and my kids 


thank you for your comment...i read every one and they make me smile.


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